An Indecisive Indian

As 2024 draws to a close, taking stock of Indian Railways' (IR) performance feels a bit like examining the last New Year’s resolution list in December—you find a few tick marks but mostly unfulfilled promises and some creative self-promotion. Sure, there have been some infrastructure gains, but the year has also witnessed a dismal Operating Ratio, uninspiring financial results, missed deadlines on marquee projects, over-the-top fanfare for a handful of flashy schemes, discontent from General class passengers, and a bungled attempt to unify the fragmented management through a new service structure. Critiquing IR’s 2024 journey is no small feat, especially when much of the public seems convinced that the organization is on an unstoppable trajectory of greatness. This belief owes more to IR’s skilful media orchestration—loudly announcing what is on the horizon rather than celebrating actual achievements—than to any objective reality. Nonetheless, I have taken up the challenge of deliv...

Lo and behold, the Railways (Amendment) Bill, 2024! A piece of legislative pageantry introduced in the Lok Sabha with all the pomp of a king’s decree. For those hoping it heralded a transformative era for Indian Railways (IR), prepare to have your bubbles burst. It turns out that this bill is less of a revolution and more of a legal housekeeping exercise—a meticulous rearranging of bureaucratic furniture while continuing to have the house itself in shambles. My esteemed great-uncle Shakespeare and my ever-witty chachā (uncle) Ghālib, stationed in their celestial VIP lounge, observed the antics surrounding the Railway Amendment Bill 2024 with a mix of bemusement and weariness. This time, they did not bother to engage in one of their characteristic verbal duels. Instead, they sat in contemplative silence, sipping their ethereal elixir (or perhaps ambrosia—who knows?) and merely took mental notes. As for me, I did not need to eavesdrop this time—my unique telepathic hotline to their gran...

Four years ago, the Indian Railways Management Service (IRMS) was launched with great fanfare, its mission as lofty as a mountain peak: to unite eight warring railway services into one harmonious entity and finally exorcise the ghost of departmentalism. Alas, the noble vision soon developed cracks so wide you could drive a Vande Bharat train through them. After a circus of flip-flops that would make acrobats weep with envy, the government hit the reset button and announced a return to the good old recruitment system through the Civil Services Examination (CSE) and Engineering Services Examination (ESE)—an old habit dressed up as a shiny new plan. To rub salt into the wound, the buzzword ‘IRMS’—already a term that managed to mean everything and nothing at once—was not discarded but cynically retained, as if to convince everyone that this was not a retreat, but rather a strategic tweak. Officers will now flaunt their departments, thinly disguised as sub-cadres, with labels like IRMS (Tra...

Ah, here I stand, the valiant recipient of the never-ending WhatsApp parade, bearing the  relentless onslaught of festive fervor. One would think that each digital greeting might warm the cockles of one's heart , but alas, it only heaps bricks upon an already inundated soul. In the words of Antony in the bard’s Julius Caesar, “...Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!...” —only here, the dogs are pixelated gods, goddesses, one holy figure after another, and of course, candles and lamps, storming forth in hundreds with gilded frames and music that reverberates from a realm Mozart himself dared not tread.   Must I truly prime you to sympathize with my hapless plight? Perhaps so. Recall, if you will, my earlier outpourings on this very theme—the chronicles of my bewilderment as I braved the relentless onslaught of well-meaning wishes, reproduced at the end for those interested to gauge my cup of woe. But lo, these humble laments seem as whispers to the wind, for they have...

  “Thus the whirligig of time brings in his revenges… ' proclaims the Clown in the bard’s Twelfth Night , meaning what goes around comes around and so too has time spun back on the Indian Railways Management Service (IRMS). Conceived four years ago to merge eight railway services into a single entity and banish the ghost of departmentalism, the IRMS seemed the future of railway management. Yet, with the cracks in this vision too glaring to ignore, after many flip flops, the government recently seemed to have reversed the course again, opting once more for officer recruitment through the Civil Services Examination (CSE) and Engineering Services Examination (ESE)—a return to old habits under a new guise.   I recently wrote that IRMS, often humorously dubbed the Indian Railway Mismanagement Service , has a rather unique purpose—one might call it the ultimate Innovative Redundancy Management Scheme . It keeps the increasingly redundant railway executives in a state of confused bli...

Railway safety is making headlines for all the wrong reasons lately, with two dominant narratives emerging based on where you stand politically. On one side, critics claim that the instances of rail accidents have gone up massively in recent times and that Indian Railways (IR) has been focusing on flashy projects like the Vande Bharat trains and swanky stations for sheer optics, neglecting the more pressing issue of passenger safety. On the other side, some allege that cases of averted accidents, and even accidents, have gone up due to nefarious elements working to derail trains by placing obstructions on tracks and that a sinister plot by external enemies is at play, with sleeper cells and saboteurs actively working to cause accidents.   Frankly, both of these perspectives miss the mark by a wide margin.   The recent spate of railway accidents has naturally stirred up public, media, and political scrutiny. However, the conversation often revolves around raw statistics...