Rip away the random reckless RIP routine!

 

Rip away the random reckless RIP routine!

 

The phrase ‘rest in peace’, is a derivative of the Latin ‘requiescat in pace’ spoken in Christian funeral services and communal worship to wish the soul of a deceased eternal rest and peace. One can frequently see ‘requiescat in pac’ or ‘rest in peace", engraved on the gravestones of Christians. It is also common to see R.I.P. (or RIP), the phrase reduced to its abbreviation.

 

Whatsapp has created many problems for us. One of the problems is that we find ourselves confronted with the news of death of someone. A barrage of condolence messages start and all the members of the group, whether known to the deceased or not, whether the deceased or his relatives were a member of the group or not, feel compelled to write something by way of condolement. Some write some lines, perhaps from a saved template or some others simply type out a random RIP, rather recklessly and unfeelingly. Have you stopped to think and see how ridiculous this is? If it was a friend or relative you were in touch with, you would surely come to know about it through other sources and would hardly like to send a message in a group, keeping in mind the sensitivities involved. Well, if you were writing a message in the form of a brief obituary that may be acceptable. But expression of sympathy with a person who is suffering misfortune and grief, first and foremost, would make sense only if you had a good enough connection with the diseased or his relatives and perhaps friends. And assuming it does, would you merely write it in a public forum, unconcerned whether it reaches the person intended for or not?

 

Would you not like that we act with some empathy and send this message privately on one to one basis? Picture yourself or one of your close ones passing away and some insensitive guy thinks it is his or her duty to write RIP in your favour in a public forum. If you think it would be all right, you must be a very forgiving soul; my instinct would be to say Eff You to such an act. Wishing someone ‘Happy this and Greeting that’ is pretty inane or insipid, take your pick, albeit may be just about tolerable but here we are talking about someone’s extreme grief.

 

Imagine the pretentions in the messages in Whatsapp group saying, “My heart goes out to...”, “So tragic...”, “Shocked to hear...”, “So sad...”. Like hell your heart did go out to and you were shocked, my right eyeball! If you were indeed shocked and grieving, you would do pretty much more than writing a vapid message in a group with perhaps no direct connection to the deceased or the grieving.

 

Is ‘Rest in peace’ is an invocative conjuration that the soul in question should find peace in the afterlife. What afterlife for Christians? Literally, the phrase has no allusion to the soul so was the prayer meant for the lifeless body to lie peacefully in the grave. How is it related with the Christian thought that soul is parted from the body upon death but that the the soul and the body would be reunited on the Judgment Day.

 

Or in our own context, how would a Hindu or Buddhist soul rest in peace? Rebirth in another species, certainly not. Nirvana or the state of realization that there was no self, no soul, only the bliss of enlightenment, the final state after leaving the body? Or Moksha, the acceptance of the soul in the consciousness of oneness with Param Brahma? But looky here! I am already confused and do not want you to be a comrade in befuddlement. Let us stick to the narrow confines of the worldly subject of simple death.

 

If you think that I object only to this phrase or its acronym, No sir. The Indian Om Shanti (an invocation for peace) written out in the above circumstances is almost equally bad.

 

Use of the acronym RIP, at times written even in smalls like rip, is of course, the pinnacle of rude and thoughtless action. If not rude, given the mechanical nature of the message, isn’t it absolutely inconsiderate? It sure implies that, although you foolishly feel burdened to write something when somebody has died, you will not write out, ‘May he (or his soul) rest in peace’  and seem to be trying to get it over with in a jiffy and then plunge back to the inanities on your cell phone.

 

There are other aspects too. Bunging in a trite abbreviation out there in the air with no recipient, or even if there were a recipient, is not comforting at all (those who do not rest in peace are sinners). It is rather self-absorbed and condescending.

 

One caveat here. This blogpost is not at all about saying the right thing to a friend or family member who has experienced the death of a loved one. Although grief isn’t something you can alleviate through eloquent phrases, speaking the right words with compassion and caring can help. Nevertheless, I prefer to stay quiet when visiting or meeting in such a situation. I am, however, sure there are many who feel and say the right thing. It is also not a comment on writers of obituaries; in fact, I read obituaries written by friends, or public figures, and some of them are really heart-felt and moving, bringing out the sincerity of the writer at once. There are certainly many who really want to make things better for the grieving and be a true supportive friend or family and if you are one, do follow your instincts. You can help in many ways and since your heart is in the right place, you will find a way to help.

 

It is simply about these indelicate messaging on social media which are only because it was handy to do so and you join the bandwagon of condolence messaging as a chore to be quickly disposed off. So readers, sympathize, empathize and comfort, for sure, but rip away this proclivity to scribe an instant RIP.